~AssALamUALAIkum...HeLL0...0hAIYo g0zAImASu....AnneYongHaseYo~

Thursday 31 March 2016

~the cultivation of anger~



Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy human emotion...But when it gets out of control and turns vicious it can leads to several problems and affect the overall quality of your life...

From the poem itself we can see the destructive effect of anger...The poem describes the narrator's repressed feeling of anger towards an individual...His anger grows by time and later on turns into vengeance...

Based on that, we can conclude that ignoring or suppressing anger are poisonous and it will make us become wicked, bitter and even vengeful...As for the solution, is it venting out our anger is a good thing to do?

Generally, it is better to let things out rather than hold them in...But a lot of study shows that venting is not a good solution...In fact, it can perpetuate problems by reinforcing negative response to situation...And furthermore people may use this theory as a license to hurt others...

''Do not wait for your feelings to change to take the action...Take the action and your feelings will change...'' -Barbara Baron..

It is best to find out things that trigger your anger...And then develop strategies to keep those trigger from tipping you over the edge...

Here are some tips on how to manage your anger... 

Relaxation
Deep breathing and relaxing imagery can help to calm down your anger...
  • Breathe deeply from your diaphragm
  • Picture your breath coming out from your gut
  • Slowly repeat a calm word such as ''relax'' or ''take it easy''
  • Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply
  • Visualize a relaxing experience either from your memory or your imagination

Practice these techniques daily and learn to use them automatically when you are in a dreadful situation...

Cognitive Restructuring
Angry people tends to curse...When you are angry, your thinking can get very exaggerated and theatrical...Therefore you should change the way you think...

Instead of telling yourself ''oh it's awful, it's terrible, everything's ruined'' tell yourself ''it's frustrating, it's reasonable that i'm upset about it, but it is not the end of the world and getting angry is not going to solve it''

Reminds yourself that getting angry is not going to fix anything and it would not make you feel better..Logic defeats anger...So use cold hard logic on yourself and it will help you to get a more balanced perception...

Problem solving
Sometimes, our anger are caused by an inevitable problem in our lives...The best approach to tackle such situation, is not to emphasis on finding the solution but rather on how you handle and face the problems...So make a plan and check your progress along the way...

Better communication 
Angry people tend to jump to and act on conclusion...The first thing to do if you are in an intense argument is slow down and think through your responses...Do not say the first thing that come to your mind...Think wisely about what you want to say...At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering...

Using humor
Silly humor can help defused rage in a number of ways...Humor can always be relied on to unknot a tense situation...When you get angry and wanted to call someone a name or refer them in some imaginative phrase, stop and picture what that word would literally look like...Do this whenever a name comes across to mind about another person...It is funny and you may feel better...

Changing your environment
Sometimes it is our current surroundings that give us cause for irritation and fury...Problems and responsibilities weight on you will also make you feel angry...So give yourself a break...Make sure you have some 'personal time' scheduled on the day you know you are particularly stress...

Last but not least...

''The strong one is not the one who overcomes people by his strength, but the strong one is the one who control himself while in anger''

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